Your beauty is more than skin deep
Let’s take it back 4 years. I had my second son which was another best thing that happened to me. I love being a mommy, I am totally in love with my boys and would not trade ANYTHING for them!! When I was 6 weeks postpartum, I decided to take control of my physical state of unhappiness and disgust and get back into shape. I had a harder time losing the baby weight than my first for sure. That body just doesn’t always go back to where you started– moms, can I get an AMEN?!
So I started with working out at home doing Insanity, a home fitness program, and drinking Shakeology, and eating clean. I knew I didn’t have the ability to go to the gym during the time I had available.. and sure as heck wasn’t waking up my newborn and 1 year old to drive to the gym at 5 am… plus no daycare at that time. So thats what worked for me. I had great results, loved what I was doing, moved on to Turbo Fire, P90X, and decided keep going with all the Beachbody fitness programs.. What really helped me get to my very lowest goal weight and body was the 21 Day Ultimate Reset! It was 21 Days of very strict eating,
cleansing my body, and that was when I really saw my ABS!! When I saw my abs, I realized I’ve done all I can!! I’ve worked my ass off, but something was still in the way… all that extra damn skin!
Notice in the pic on the lower right, I was leaned back so my skin wasn’t hanging… the top right, I pulled my skin back on my hips. I still earned and worked for this body. I had abs, I was very lean, but the extra skin made me crazy!
I know my babies are worth every stretch mark and piece of loose skin, I call my stretch marks, their trade mark on my body! But the loose skin made me feel so extremely uncomfortable, especially as I got into fitness coaching and helping others, I felt that me posting pics with hanging skin was not attractive.. to others, but more so, to myself.
In mid 2013, I had a slight mishap… well big mishap.. one of my breast implants popped after breastfeeding my son (yea flat tire I call it), and I was traumatized.. It was so extremely noticeable to see one “DD” and an “A cup” on the other side… so when I went for a consultation to get “fixed”, I mentioned to my Dr. about the “mommy makeover”. If you are not familiar with that, its a breast augmentation, along with a tummy tuck.
I decided that my happiness and confidence is on me, and I’ve worked hard and controlled what I can, so I did it. I fixed my “flat fire” and also had my tummy tuck done. It was a very difficult recovery of sleeping in
a chair for 6 weeks, not being able to move very much, then dealing with not just being unhappy with loose skin, but now a huge scar going across my abdomen that I thought was going to look like a 2 inch C-section mark.
Iv’e honestly struggled HARD up until this year. Mind you its 2016. So for the last 3 years, I have struggled with my body image of having this huge scar.. so bad, I even took it upon myself to have laser scar removal done.. Yes, I burned my skin to have this go away. Painful.. absolutely.. expensive.. yes.. but that was how miserable and uncomfortable I was.
After all my mental struggle through this physical journey, I have realized, IT’S OK!!! I’m still me.. someone who has worked extremely hard to reach her fitness goals, has accomplished competing in Figure Competitions the past 2 years (not having the body due to a tummy tuck, but by working hard in the kitchen and gym), and someone who still has a passion for helping others and doing it the “right way” to reach their goals.
This scar does NOT define me or the person I am. I simply wanted to feel better in my own skin.. I had confidence issues afterwards, but am FINALLY being good with my scar, my stretch marks, and ME!!! I do not regret getting my tummy tuck, because my goal was to have my flat stomach without my skin hanging over my pants or when I bend over. I do regret hiding my scar and story for so long because I know others have gone through the same thing or something similar.. the same unhappiness about their skin and body.. but its time to realize that marks, scars, or appearance is NOT everything!!!
Its our personality that makes us!!! The way we help others, serve others, present ourselves, is what truly makes WHO WE ARE!
Ok that felt good to get it out there!!! I may feel 10 pounds lighter!!! LOL!!
I hope you continue following my journey. I will NOT stop here.. This is JUST the beginning of a long and amazing journey ahead!!!